Christmas Mourning

My mother died last year on Christmas morning. It was a hard day, obviously, and led to a very rough start to the year. I spent the day making calls to inform the family. First my kids and my ex-wife, then my mother’s brother who wasn’t with her at the time, my father, my Aunt, a few others.

I’ve been quietly dreading today, but in a sort of shoved-in-the-background kind of way. But today is Christmas, and here it is, in my face. It’s not been as bad as I’d been expecting, so far. Perhaps the barely-controlled chaos of moving boxes everywhere, waiting to be completely filled, or filled and waiting to be moved, are distracting enough to blunt the edge.

I spent several hours this morning sitting on the balcony sipping coffee and thinking about my mother. There were a few tears, but there were some smiles and happy thoughts, too. And even since she died, there’ve been some happy memories. I’ve got my son here for the weekend to help me pack up the rest of my crap for the big move, so he’s here to lean on when I need. I’m very happy about that.

It’s going to be ok.



To repeat the disclaimer, this is a project about re-discovery. It’s about remembering who I am, what I’m about, what I love and what I do not. Fair warning, this project will be posted here rather than at my SFW site because there will be nudity from time to time. Some of it will be of me, some not, some artistic and pretty to look at, some just raw.

I don’t intend to think of something every day and then shoot it, though I may do that sometimes, too. But sometimes I will just shoot, and then find something about myself in the frames and post about that thing, whatever it is.

All my #365SelfDiscovery posts will be filed here.